GQ talked to 40 individuals about why they waited.
Being fully a virgin later on in life may be, maybe first and foremost things, a really isolating experience. It’s not only an extremely stigmatizing label—only strengthened by news tropes that suggest that older virgins are only punchlines—it’s also seldom talked about freely, genuinely, or with any amount of compassion.
We chatted to about 40 those who stayed virgins it’s like to be a “late”-in-life virgin—why they waited, the obstacles they faced, and what sex was like when they finally had it until they were at least 22 (five years after the average age at which Americans lose their virginity, according to the CDC) to see what.
Needless to say, also asking individuals why they “waited” implies some degree of universal experience, some nonexistent “right time.” The reason why individuals offered for losing their virginity later on had been throughout the map. Some individuals was raised in spiritual communities or schools that are single-sex which made intercourse more evasive or taboo. Other folks felt unattractive or insecure growing up. Battles with wellness, intimate orientation, and gender dysphoria had been additionally typical.
For pretty much each and every individual, the worry that is biggest had not been being proficient at intercourse, a really normal concern regardless of whenever you lose your virginity. The longer you wait, the greater amount of experience partners that are potential have—and that disparity can heap on more pressure. The individuals I talked with also exposed concerning the social stigma to be a mature virgin while the toll that is emotional usually takes whenever you’re maybe not experiencing something which it is like most people are doing (and speaking about) on a regular basis. (more…)